Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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