dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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