I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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