just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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