I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
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No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
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Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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