Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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