I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my shit smells like andre
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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