Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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