brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
we're blogging at a bar
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
