Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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