bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
we should paint friendship bongs
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
