Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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