You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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