69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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