Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
