Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
