a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Can't talk, ducks in the car
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
