just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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