need another drink. this is the easiest way
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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