hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I didn't notice because vodka
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
