At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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