I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I supernannyed him into submission
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
