Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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