I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize