Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
