It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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