just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
