I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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