Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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