I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
