Tell her she can't have a vagina
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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