census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
