sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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