Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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