Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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