Farmville is her only friend.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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