My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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