I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I love you. Go after that dick
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
