Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
