Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
