He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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