you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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