I wish I could punch you in the face.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
