its not stalking. its research.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
