i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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