maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I can't turn off my feet"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
