i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
my liver is dry heaving
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
