the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
