Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize