I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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