If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
