So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I met the friendliest cop last night
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize