she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
