So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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