i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
this hospital has no fireball
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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