That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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