i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
