When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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